DEAR HOBOKEN “RESIDENTS”

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From: sngk

To: Metropolitan Area [Stereotypical] Yuppies

Date: 13 March 2009

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Dear Residents* and Visitors**:

I understand that the city where I grew up in has many restaurants and bars.  I thank you for frequenting them because it’s good business for my hometown.  However, I’d like to remind you that your college years are over, and that they ended some time ago.  Please don’t get completely wasted and then ruin the delightful, gentrified neighborhood that this once diverse place has become – it might not be the same Hoboken I grew up in, but it’s still a scenic and beautiful city.  I am confident that longtime residents and people who have moved here viewing it as a relatively charming and calm city agree.  Here’s some proof: (Please ignore the fact that “defecating” was spelt incorrectly.)

You can read the rest of the letter here.  There are also some lovely photos of drunken revelers from last week’s St. Patrick’s Day parade here (Hoboken celebrates it early for some reason).  So please, help keep this city clean.  I’d like to remember this place fondly and not as some quaint little gentrified city overrun by drunk yuppies.

Sincerely,

-sngk

Residents* = Mid 20-somethings who move to Hoboken and only stay for a few years before moving to the suburbs with their new families (You know, for the two-story Colonial house with the white picket fence and 2.5 kids).

Visitors** = Mid 20-to-30 somethings who come to the city on Friday and Saturday nights to engage in drunken revelry until 2ish AM.